Introducing…

All smiles at the Masters of Movement training in LA. 3/2017.

All smiles at a training: 3/2017.

Me. Colleen. Hi. It’s been a while. ūüôā

Confession: creating a new blog has been on my mind for the last year. I wanted to press reset. I wanted to start over. I wanted to reintroduce myself to the world. I ended up starting an Instagram account (@ironsilkjoy) as the motivational seed to start this process, through documenting my journey in the fitness world. I chose this handle because I love the balance and imagery iron and silk offer, and joy is something I strive to find and sustain in anything I pursue. It felt simple, it felt elegant, it felt meaningful. I thought this would be my outlet as the new me emerged from the cocoon that left my writing so very dormant all this time.

However, this idea percolated for so long. Too long. I managed to regularly post videos and photos of my progress with short snippets describing what I was up to. I even steadily gained an audience of positive supporters. It’s been a fun side gig, but every time, and I mean *every* time I sat down to actually start typing out the overflow of fitness-focused thoughts I had, I’d stall. Why? For one thing, because a lot of life happened this year, and the thought of taking on a new project always turned quickly from excitement to exhaustion. It took months of mending, processing, recovering, and being in the world to lead up to the¬†moment that happened the¬†other day: a casual Sunday on the porch with my sweetheart, Greg.

We were having an inspired conversation that turned into the tipping point that finally broke the strong writer’s block that was holding me captive all year. It wasn’t just a matter of ideas that I needed to jot down. It was paragraph upon paragraph of what was in my brain, what was in my heart, that needed to come out and be on paper. I had thoughts to share¬†about¬†being body shamed, the competitive nature that lives in all of us, ego, insecurities, growth, strength, falling in love, and much more. Creativity flowed out faster than I could keep up with.

As I sat fervently writing, my mind kept wandering back to this blog. I decided to revisit thislittlelark.org¬†to see¬†what and when I posted last. Sure enough, my last entry was March 2016, (not coincidentally) when everything in my world started to shift. I mentioned this to Greg and he asked thoughtful questions around why I hadn’t considered continuing this¬†blog, one that was *already* set up and connected to so many wonderful and curious readers (aka: why was I making something harder for myself when the solution was literally staring back at me on my screen.) The “aha!” moment surfaced. My journey into fitness is very much a part of health and wellness. It’s part of me. This blog is where I used to write my thoughts, inspirations, and experiences. This is where I will continue to write my thoughts, inspirations, and experiences. I don’t need to separate different parts of my life into different places anymore. It all comes from the same place: ME. Yes. Yes. Yes!! It felt like coming home.¬†

So, circling back: What exactly happened in March 2016? That’s when I officially started a new approach to¬†moving my body. Through a series of serendipitous events, I was led to personal training sessions and a very quirky and amazing small gym in Durham, North Carolina: Legitimate Movement. Up until that point, I was not a “sit on the couch with no motivation” kind of gal. I was more along the lines of an “I’m going to try this thing for a while, and then move to that thing and then that shiny thing over there looks fun and whoa I want to try that fun thing, too!” kind of gal. In my adult life, I have always implemented some form of activity, and the times when it wasn’t formal and planned,¬†I lived in larger cities where I’d find myself walking 5+ miles a day to get to all my destinations. My body has always been happiest with movement: physical, emotional, and spiritually speaking. Something was different with this time around, though. Everything aligned for me and I kept showing up for myself and actually having fun. I found a place where exercise wasn’t a chore, it was an exciting way of life.

Since March 2016, I have been so inspired by my movement routine and the coaches that have helped guide me along the way, that my curiosity led me to Montreal, Toronto, and LA to take focused trainings and certifications in mobility and movement. I’ve since studied and passed my personal training certification exam, and I’m in the process of creating¬†unique classes and workshops that incorporate all of my favorite things: movement, yoga, dance, Chinese medicine, and positive psychology. I’ve come a long way and I’m really only getting started. This is all in addition to keeping a full time acupuncture practice, and going through some huge changes in my personal life. I’ve been busy!

As I write this, the excitement of sharing all of my thoughts and experiences is literally emanating¬†from every pore… I’ve never done a super real and public, take me as I am account, because honestly, the thought has always been paralyzing. What if I offend someone? What if cyber bullies start to attack? What if my story just blends in with the rest? Hmm… I’ve had these conversations with some dear friends through the year, and the best of them would always say “Who cares? I want to hear what you have to say. You have something to offer, so do yourself and the rest of us a favor and at least try to put your thoughts down on paper. You have¬†nothing to lose, only something to gain.”¬†¬†So maybe all this time I should have been asking something like: “What if <gasp> I actually make some sort of difference?” Maybe that difference will just occur within me. Maybe something will spark in you. I don’t know unless I start somewhere. So here we have it. Introducing: This Little Lark 2.0. Still a journey of health and wellness, but we’ll call it the director’s cut.

I’m¬†choosing to write about my life from a behind-the-scenes place that, I believe, is not unapologetically shared enough. It’s the only true, authentic voice I know and it’s all I have to make the choices each day to keep showing up, keep doing better, and eliminate the bullshit that drags the world down. I’ve shared some posts in the past that reflect this vulnerable and empowered place within me, and they have always made me feel the most alive. Here’s to more of that and less filtering to fit into a world of paralyzing expectations.¬†

 

 

 

 

Behind The Scenes

“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.” Dennis Prager

I’ve been running a sustainable acupuncture and wellness practice for almost 23 months now! To even type the word “sustainable” is a milestone that I thought would take years to reach. For that, I am grateful for this community¬†that supports me and trusts me with their unique life stories. I am reminded daily that I am doing what I am meant to be doing, connecting with the people that I’m¬†meant to connect with, all the while keeping an open mind to where all of this may lead to in the future.

Keeping all the warm fuzzies in mind, it’s also important for me to take into account that it takes A LOT of time, patience, and energy. It takes behind the scenes work involving research, admin, continuing education, taxes, networking, marketing, supply orders, and patient follow-ups (to name a few). Not to mention the time I commit towards self-care in order to stay balanced while wearing the variety of hats as a business owner. I strive to thrive for many years, so these things are all important to me.

It’s been a graceful learning curve, and I’ve been fortunate to have a number of colleagues to share the bittersweet growing pains of being equal parts small business owner and health care practitioner. Having this limited experience on the other side of the spectrum, I’ve gained a lot of respect for past and present health care professionals who go above and beyond for their patients and practice. I now understand why they were always so grateful when I had to cancel and it was well within their specific cancelation policy. I see how payment is an energetic exchange and is just as important in the healing process as anything else in the patient-practitioner relationship. I experience the joy… yes, JOY!…in hearing my patients advocate for themselves: if something isn’t working in their life they say it unapologetically and I am thrilled to be let in on what’s really beneath the symptoms and pains. I feel the defeat¬†when I hear “I googled it so I’m doing xyz…” and hope the sources were accurate, because somehow there’s a part in all of us, no matter how small, that recognizes if Google comes up with it, there has to be some validity behind it. I feel the overwhelming sense of wanting to keep learning more, more, more, but also knowing I’m not equipped to do it all. I smile when I’m able to help build and grow my colleague’s professions through referrals and word of mouth. Have I mentioned that community is where it’s at? ūüėČ

I’ll leave by sharing what inspired this reflection in the first place. It has nothing to do with Chinese medicine or business, but in my little world of “what does it all mean?”, this *something* got the reflection wheels turning:¬†I was playing the piano the other day– actually, sight reading a waltz in one of my old sonata books. As I played, I felt this rush of heat and giddiness, better expressed as¬†“WHOA this is crazy that I am looking at a piece of paper with dots on lines¬†and simultaneously able to coordinate my right and left hands to play a melody via their respective parts of the paper with dots on lines.” feeling. What?!!! It was the feeling of embodiment, it was the feeling of all of the parts fitting to create the whole. It was the perfect metaphor for how I feel when I think of all the parts (and all of the hats worn) that have contributed to this grand waltz of a practice I’m building. ūüôā

My vulnerability is showing…

…and it looks good!

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I think a lot. The way my mind works fascinates and entertains me enough that I don’t get bored easily, although I can easily tire from my train of thought at times. I think about my life. I think about where I came from and where I’m going. I think about what I’ve overcome to get to where I am. I think about and make up random scenarios that make me giggle, and I think about and make up random scenarios that bring up fears. I think about all of these things and more.

And then, somewhere down the road of my ever-evolving thought process, I started thinking more about my external world, specifically how I portray my¬†internal world to my external world. I realized how much I’ve taken on for myself to process versus opening up and saying my truth¬†to those around me. I realized I played the role of feeling much safer in pleasing others and not ruffling feathers, while silently suffering internal anxieties and worries. I realized how exhausting this was for my past self. I realized that is was time to unravel and transform this tendency.¬†

Throughout the past year, this has been a major focus of mine. After settling into my life in Chapel Hill and (mostly) recovering from the very real PTSD that lingered from my time as a grad student, I can happily say that all my needs of home, food, friends, and career are feeling rooted and nurtured. This has created space for me to let go of the fight or flight mode a bit more and dive deeper into the parts of my psyche that are fearful of being vulnerable.

I was inspired by conversations among friends and family, articles and blog posts, books like¬†Bren√© Brown’s, Daring Greatly,¬†and personal anecdotes from my amazing and brave patients. All of these encounters helped put the feelings I was trying to acknowledge into tangible thoughts; I’ve built up a wall to “stay strong” when all along practicing vulnerability has made me feel stronger than ever.¬†

How will I continue to nurture this in the new year? With compassion (and oftentimes a shaky voice)¬†I’ll keep communicating¬†how I really feel, I’ll honor my energy and not give it away to those that drain it. I won’t deny my emotion in order to avoid confrontation. I’ll continue to meet the needs of those I love while making sure my needs are being heard and met as well. I will continue to cultivate balance, reciprocity, and deeper connection and understanding in my relationships. I’ll make time to breathe, laugh, sing, and play with abandon. I’ll step out of my sometimes too comfortable shadow and follow my curiosity, away from the path of fear. I’ll tap into my courage. I’ll fall down¬†and get back up. I’ll continue to show up for myself and be seen, because once we’re seen, our greatest attributes, ideas, creativities, and accomplishments are one step closer to seeing the light.¬†

Care to join me? ūüôā

 

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patience, patient.

‚ÄúHave patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them ‚Äď every day begin the task anew.‚ÄĚ ~Saint Francis de Sales

 

Being present with each of my patients is essential in order to honor who they are and what they are presenting on any given day. My mission is to personalize each session according to everyone’s unique needs. I also make a point to never take anyone for granted, especially when it comes to my thinking about what their expectations or thoughts might be surrounding each treatment.

I wrote a similar post to this one about 2 years ago, and I thought it might be fruitful to re-post and share these thoughts on realistic expectations of a treatment plan. I share this in order to encourage you to make your experience as a current or future Chinese medicine patient as wonderful and enjoyable as possible.  Please feel free to share your thoughts, ideas, and experiences!

  • Be patient. Rome was not built in a day and your body did not develop those aches and pains over night. Deep transformation and healing requires a realistic expectation that may take weeks or months to target. Unfortunately we are in a ‚Äúquick fix‚ÄĚ society, so it is often hard to change this mindset. With the right practitioner, each treatment will provide a space of relaxation and forward movement. With time and patience, your body will ¬†readjust, cleanse, heal and feel more and more balanced. The key word is time. Perhaps this is why we are called patients; because we should be practicing patience. ūüôā

 

  • If one practitioner doesn‚Äôt resonate with you, it does not mean the entire medicine doesn‚Äôt resonate with you. ¬†We all have specific needs in life and this is what makes diversity so beautiful. Keep in mind that Chinese medicine practitioners are not one and all the same. We have many different styles and specialties of practicing. Doing your research and asking the appropriate people in your community for a good referral is a great first step (I am always available to help!). If you are unsatisfied for whatever reason after your treatment, see if you can find someone else. ¬†As in any relationship, we have to try things in order to know what is really best for us.
  • ¬†Speak up!¬†If you are uncomfortable in any way, ¬†have any questions or concerns, or have positive feedback, say something! Do you think the treatment room is too cold or too warm? Do you like the music and ambiance? Or, does the needle in your leg feel funny? Whatever might be on your mind, I encourage you to speak up and let your practitioner know. This will only improve the quality of your experiences and help facilitate your body‚Äôs relaxation response for deeper healing. It is empowering to speak up for yourself. This time is all for you, make every moment worthwhile.
  • You are in charge.¬†What this means is that it‚Äôs up to you to take care of yourself in between treatments. The road to health involves medical supervision, but most important, involves a lifestyle change. With a good practitioner, you will be sent home with dietary modifications, exercises, and/or suggestions on mental-emotional support. You are paying for this advice, and it is solely for your benefit.¬†If you have questions, ask. If you need clarification or more recommendations, say so. If something comes up, you can get in touch with your practitioner in between visits. ¬†However, your practitioner is not going to be there by your side each day to see what you are doing, so you need to make a commitment to do your work and show up for yourself each day. Some things come easier than others, and the most important thing in this process is to stay completely open and honest with yourself and your practitioner in order to continue receiving the support you need. You have a¬†safe, judgement-free, healing space provided to serve and work with YOU. Make the best of it, and over time you might just see some incredible transformations. ūüôā

Want to learn more about what I do? Check out my practice website: The Balance Point Acupuncture & Wellness

healthy fall.

I sent the post below via e-mail several weeks ago, and I felt it necessary to repost here for several reasons. One being, the very next day after writing it, I noticed the temperatures dropped significantly here in North Carolina. After leaving my house, I somehow convinced myself that I would be OK with the 3/4 length sleeved shirt I was wearing (and no scarf!!) since I was going to be either inside a building or car for the majority of the day. Retrospective thought: Oh, how the mind will think of anything to justify what we already know is a less than good idea! The several minutes I was outside, I felt the chilly air on the back of my neck and I just knew it was the point of no return, the onset of something. Sure enough, over the next few days my body started to feel fatigued and lethargic, and I developed the all- too- common Fall season cold. Does this sound familiar? Read on for some self-care tips on staying healthy this season from a Chinese medical perspective. 
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Now that fall is in the air, temperatures are shifting and the days are getting shorter. Chinese medicine has a lot to say about how we are influenced by natural cycles, and what we can do to prevent our bodies from being out of balance with these cycles. This time of the year is associated with the element/energy of Metal and the organ systems of Lung and Large Intestine. Therefore, now is a good time to focus on strengthening our respiratory and digestive systems. Here are some useful tips on how to do this for optimal health in the upcoming season:
 
  • Regular Acupuncture:¬†Seasonal changes can be a time of turmoil as an individual‚Äôs qi (energy) might be out of harmony with the frequency of the season.¬†Fall¬†is the perfect time to take preventative action. Ward off illness and changes in mood with acupuncture treatments this autumn and start the school year, or just the cooler weather in general, with a balanced body, mind and spirit.¬†Consistent acupuncture treatments¬†assist in relieving stress, help you get sounder sleep and re-balance your energy. It can help boost your immune function and settle the mind.
  • Sleep:¬†Notice that nature is slowing down, contracting, and preparing to rest so¬†it is natural for us to sleep a little longer than in the summer months. Focus on relaxation in the evening hours. Autumn is associated with late afternoon and evening time, and getting ready for the still, deep energy of the winter.
  • Eat¬†warming root vegetables, whole grains and hearty foods like soups, stews, and broths. Incorporating seasonal foods in your diet helps to connect the energetics of the season with the nourishment of your body.¬† These foods will also work well to flush out and protect the intestines. When it comes to flavors,¬†think pungent.¬†Pungent and slightly spicy foods have a powerful up and out direction in the body, and this traditionally helps stimulate the lungs and break up any excess mucus. Try adding onions, ginger, garlic, leeks, radishes and turnips to your meals.¬†Cayenne, ginger and curry also promote good digestion and elimination.
  • Protect your lungs¬†by drinking plenty of fluids, doing a daily sinus rinse and wearing a scarf. The back of our neck is a particularly vulnerable place where cold and wind can invade easily and compromise our immune system, so cover up!¬†
  • Regular Exercise.¬†Movement is essential year-round. Even with the¬†fall¬†and winter chill you want to maintain your exercise regimen. It will help reduce the seasonal depression that tends to crop up as the days become shorter, allow you to stay at a¬†healthy¬†body weight, improve your¬†health, and let energy flow unimpeded. Try at least 30 minutes of cardio on most days of the week and be sure to include strength training.
  • Always go back to the breath.¬†Add a deep breathing and meditation practice to your daily routine by expanding your chest, opening your lungs, and breathing in deep to honor and nourish your body!¬†In¬†fall, we tend to be more introspective and it‚Äôs time to let go of emotions that no longer serve us. Take advantage of this opportunity by meditating to keep calm and focused. Strengthen your lung qi by setting aside time each day for breathing exercises. Take a yoga class or try Qigong to quiet the mind.¬†Mindful breath work has so¬†many benefits like eliminating toxins, releasing tension and pain, bringing a sense of clarity, and improving your quality of sleep.
 
Wishing you a healthy and peaceful season!

return.

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Hello friends,

After a 6 month hiatus, my writer’s cap is back on and I’m excited to start posting here more regularly.

So, why 6 long months without an update, you ask? Well, life has been full of changes, transitions, and new beginnings that have required most of my attention and energy. I’ve relocated to Chapel Hill, NC and have since opened a practice, The Balance Point Acupuncture & Wellness, which has been an incredible experience on so many levels. I feel humbled, honored, excited, and full of so much gratitude to finally be at this point in my career to be able to put the knowledge and skills I’ve acquired to action through treatments, workshops, volunteering, and, once again, writing.

I’ve been building a great community here and keeping really busy embracing the Carolina life. In March, I started a year-long yoga teacher training which has done nothing but reaffirm (over and over again) all of the efforts I’ve put into building this journey for myself. So, overall, with its ups and downs, life has been good.

What to expect from here on out:¬†A little less on the “How-To’s” and a little more vulnerability and depth around the health and wellness issues that are prevalent in our day to day lives. Most of my writing inspiration comes from personal experience, and I feel that’s the best place to stay in order to really connect with all of you.

Thank you for all of your support, from near and far. I am forever grateful to have this space to share the inner workings of my mind.

Always,
Colleen ūüôā

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Happy New Year Of The Wood Horse!

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‚ÄúProsperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.‚Ä̬†

– Albert F. Geoffrey –

On Friday, January 31, we will start to feel an energetic shift as we welcome the uplifting, optimistic, and inspiring year of the Wood Horse! 

The Chinese New Year starts on the second new moon after the winter solstice and lasts until the following full moon. This 15 day period is a time where families and friends gather, share special traditional meals, and give gifts to symbolize their wishes for a prosperous year ahead. This time also marks the start of spring.

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The Illusion of Separateness

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“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh –

As I round the corner to finish my final year in Naturopathic and Chinese Medical School, I’ve been thinking a lot about what natural medicine really is.

What I thought it was, when I started. And what I now know it to be.

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