Behind The Scenes

“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.” Dennis Prager

I’ve been running a sustainable acupuncture and wellness practice for almost 23 months now! To even type the word “sustainable” is a milestone that I thought would take years to reach. For that, I am grateful for this community that supports me and trusts me with their unique life stories. I am reminded daily that I am doing what I am meant to be doing, connecting with the people that I’m meant to connect with, all the while keeping an open mind to where all of this may lead to in the future.

Keeping all the warm fuzzies in mind, it’s also important for me to take into account that it takes A LOT of time, patience, and energy. It takes behind the scenes work involving research, admin, continuing education, taxes, networking, marketing, supply orders, and patient follow-ups (to name a few). Not to mention the time I commit towards self-care in order to stay balanced while wearing the variety of hats as a business owner. I strive to thrive for many years, so these things are all important to me.

It’s been a graceful learning curve, and I’ve been fortunate to have a number of colleagues to share the bittersweet growing pains of being equal parts small business owner and health care practitioner. Having this limited experience on the other side of the spectrum, I’ve gained a lot of respect for past and present health care professionals who go above and beyond for their patients and practice. I now understand why they were always so grateful when I had to cancel and it was well within their specific cancelation policy. I see how payment is an energetic exchange and is just as important in the healing process as anything else in the patient-practitioner relationship. I experience the joy… yes, JOY!…in hearing my patients advocate for themselves: if something isn’t working in their life they say it unapologetically and I am thrilled to be let in on what’s really beneath the symptoms and pains. I feel the defeat when I hear “I googled it so I’m doing xyz…” and hope the sources were accurate, because somehow there’s a part in all of us, no matter how small, that recognizes if Google comes up with it, there has to be some validity behind it. I feel the overwhelming sense of wanting to keep learning more, more, more, but also knowing I’m not equipped to do it all. I smile when I’m able to help build and grow my colleague’s professions through referrals and word of mouth. Have I mentioned that community is where it’s at? 😉

I’ll leave by sharing what inspired this reflection in the first place. It has nothing to do with Chinese medicine or business, but in my little world of “what does it all mean?”, this *something* got the reflection wheels turning: I was playing the piano the other day– actually, sight reading a waltz in one of my old sonata books. As I played, I felt this rush of heat and giddiness, better expressed as “WHOA this is crazy that I am looking at a piece of paper with dots on lines and simultaneously able to coordinate my right and left hands to play a melody via their respective parts of the paper with dots on lines.” feeling. What?!!! It was the feeling of embodiment, it was the feeling of all of the parts fitting to create the whole. It was the perfect metaphor for how I feel when I think of all the parts (and all of the hats worn) that have contributed to this grand waltz of a practice I’m building. :)

Back to the start.

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This blog has been up for 5 years now… !!!  It started as a personal WordPress site to connect with friends and family about my life’s journey and to my surprise it grew to an audience of over 5,000 readers within months! Wow! I decided to switch over to this .org domain a little over 2 years ago to include more guest posts from health and wellness professionals. This, in turn, would reach an even wider audience. Well, my friends, after some much needed deliberation, I’ve decided it’s time to go back to the start. I feel that I have built up a level of resistance to posting regular updates the past couple of years, not because I didn’t have anything to share, but because I had TOO much to share. I ended up receiving hundreds of emails from interested guest bloggers from around the world. Reading their stories and what they wanted to share was inspiring, impressive and such an honor to read, but I quickly realized it was too much of an endeavor to take on as a “side project” on my own. In the meantime, popular sites like Mind, Body, Green and Elephant Journal grew with a similar mission– with a staff of many. Something that is not in the cards for me right now, especially as I manage a full-time acupuncture and wellness practice.

What does going back to the start mean? It means just me. It means on occasion when I meet someone with a special something, I’ll ask if they’d do me the honor to write their story so I can share it with all of you, who I care about deeply. It means more creative license to be all over the map instead of within a “professional” parameter. If you’ve read my past few blog posts, you’ll know that I’m striving to bridge the gap between my professional life and personal life, practicing vulnerability, and taking more risks. I’m wanting to connect on a deeper level that surpasses preaching about the “How-To’s” in life. 

I understand this will lead to some of you unsubscribing to my updates. But before you go, please know I am grateful for your support and for every time you chose to read these posts the past few years. For those that stay with me, I thank you as well. You’ll see some gradual changes around the website, and as always I welcome your feedback. :) Here’s to the next chapter…!! 

My vulnerability is showing…

…and it looks good!

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I think a lot. The way my mind works fascinates and entertains me enough that I don’t get bored easily, although I can easily tire from my train of thought at times. I think about my life. I think about where I came from and where I’m going. I think about what I’ve overcome to get to where I am. I think about and make up random scenarios that make me giggle, and I think about and make up random scenarios that bring up fears. I think about all of these things and more.

And then, somewhere down the road of my ever-evolving thought process, I started thinking more about my external world, specifically how I portray my internal world to my external world. I realized how much I’ve taken on for myself to process versus opening up and saying my truth to those around me. I realized I played the role of feeling much safer in pleasing others and not ruffling feathers, while silently suffering internal anxieties and worries. I realized how exhausting this was for my past self. I realized that is was time to unravel and transform this tendency. 

Throughout the past year, this has been a major focus of mine. After settling into my life in Chapel Hill and (mostly) recovering from the very real PTSD that lingered from my time as a grad student, I can happily say that all my needs of home, food, friends, and career are feeling rooted and nurtured. This has created space for me to let go of the fight or flight mode a bit more and dive deeper into the parts of my psyche that are fearful of being vulnerable.

I was inspired by conversations among friends and family, articles and blog posts, books like Brené Brown’s, Daring Greatly, and personal anecdotes from my amazing and brave patients. All of these encounters helped put the feelings I was trying to acknowledge into tangible thoughts; I’ve built up a wall to “stay strong” when all along practicing vulnerability has made me feel stronger than ever. 

How will I continue to nurture this in the new year? With compassion (and oftentimes a shaky voice) I’ll keep communicating how I really feel, I’ll honor my energy and not give it away to those that drain it. I won’t deny my emotion in order to avoid confrontation. I’ll continue to meet the needs of those I love while making sure my needs are being heard and met as well. I will continue to cultivate balance, reciprocity, and deeper connection and understanding in my relationships. I’ll make time to breathe, laugh, sing, and play with abandon. I’ll step out of my sometimes too comfortable shadow and follow my curiosity, away from the path of fear. I’ll tap into my courage. I’ll fall down and get back up. I’ll continue to show up for myself and be seen, because once we’re seen, our greatest attributes, ideas, creativities, and accomplishments are one step closer to seeing the light. 

Care to join me? :)

 

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32 Lessons I’ve Learned (and Mostly Relearned) as a 32 Year Old.

32-Facts-That-Show-How-Men-Are-Being-Systematically-Emasculated-In-America-Today-300x205“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” ― George Bernard Shaw

Although in my mind I still tend to feel like (and laugh at the same things as) a kid, I’ll be turning 33 tomorrow, May 26th! Wow. It’s really true: age is just a number, and you’re only as old as you feel. Every year around this time, I enjoy taking a moment to myself to reflect on the year that just passed, oftentimes like a blink of an eye. Days, weeks, and months can go by so quickly! Knowing the way that I’ve chosen to participate in the world, it’s important to take these pauses and check in where I’m at, and where I might be going. This year, while highlighting the growth and transformation I’ve experienced, I’ve compiled a list of 32 lessons I’ve learned and relearned this past year as a 32 year old.  If nothing else, I’ll always be able to look back on this to remember the thoughts, big and small, that have brought me to be the person I am today.

 

1. Upgrading to a Kindle has made life so sweet and easy. I love books and I’ll always have an affinity for them, but when I’m traveling, it’s so much more convenient to have a handful of books uploaded on a tiny, light-weight device. My shoulders are much happier for not having to lug around excess weight in books anymore. 

2. Having a daily yoga practice is possible. It’s not always an hour or longer, but putting in at least 15 minutes a day can move some profound mind-body mountains. 

3. Owning and running a small business has been an emotional roller coaster and has been full of some of the most valuable lessons towards self cultivation. I’m absolutely floored that I’m actually living my dream, and while living it, I continue to dream even bigger. 

4. It’s never too late to start learning a new language. Hablo español? Si, hablo un poco de español! 

5. Mercury retrograde is real. Enough said. When you hear that it’s currently happening, be gentle with all things communication, technology, transportation, and contractual. Actually, even when Mercury is not retrograde, be gentle. 

6. Give me a bowl of air-popped popcorn with coconut oil, nutritional yeast, sea salt, and dill, and I will become giddy with glee.

7. Dancing will always be one of my most favorite things to do. Being able to go out and enjoy the dances around here? Working on staying awake past 9pm…

8. There’s nothing wrong with a 9pm bedtime.

9. It is possible to lower cholesterol! Diet, exercise, and de-stressing for the win! I do realize this is not the case for all people, but paying closer attention to your diet, exercise and de-stressing routines will definitely create a positive ripple effect on your health.

10. Acupuncture works. More times than not I find myself shaking my head in disbelief how this medicine is so unbelievably wise.

11. Friends certainly come and go through the seasons of our lives.

12. Moving to a new place can be scary, especially after spending years making friends and building community elsewhere. In the past year, I’ve made a great effort to get to know my surroundings, and it came back to me tenfold: Becoming involved with a yoga teacher training and reaching out to any and all interesting people I meet along the way has built the sweetest community here in Chapel Hill.

FullSizeRender13. Get the hammock. Don’t spend months or years talking about getting the hammock. Get it. Add the bowl of popcorn from above. Die happy.

14. Free does not necessarily mean better. 

15. Working as a team is invigorating. I’ve been blessed to meet some incredible health practitioners around here, and am in the midst of collaborating big ideas with one… stay tuned!  

16. Animals need our lovingkindness more than ever. Save the elephants, save the turtles, please save them all.

17. Slow down, it’ll get done.

18. I can run more than 3 miles at a time. In fact, I ran 7 the other day! Mind over matter.

19. It is SO worth the time and money to get away for a few days and shake things up from the routine, especially when it’s a visit to loved ones that are just too darn far away. I’m grateful to be at that point in life where I truly value experiences and memories far more than the “things” that can easily be replaced. (If you are ready to de-clutter your life, read this.)

20. My body will continue to change through the years, and that’s just part of the graceful aging process. The only thing I can do is to keep coming back to embracing what I have now and continue to strive to feel the healthiest and most energized that I possibly can. 

21. Laughter is the best medicine. 

22. Being engaged to my sweetheart has changed nothing and everything all at the same time. It’s a sweet time for us to figure out how we want to make this completely our own, no deadlines, no pressure, just a love-filled celebration. If I could do anything differently, I’d trust the process more than I did leading up to it. 

23. Deciding to have children will never come naturally to me as a “yes, it’s happening!” or a “no, it’s not for me.” However, choosing to be with the person who could someday create those children with me has been the most natural “yes!” I could think of. 

24. Maintaining a healthy relationship takes work each and every day. A lot of the time it’s so much fun! I mean, what’s better than living with your best friend, having countless inside jokes, and trying to figure out how to be “adults” together? Yay for that! However, it’s not always that easy, and we are sometimes challenged to look in the mirror and face the things we try so hard not to see within ourselves. I think that could be the most beautiful part of a relationship’s metamorphosis: once the guards are down, the transformation begins, and you’re both better people for having worked on it. 

25. Public libraries are the bees knees. So many resources, so much information. How lucky are we?

26. Social media will continue to be a blessing and an annoyance. Always proceed with caution, and treat everyone kindly.

27. Quitting a ridiculous coffee habit is very possible, and on the days I decide to  make or treat myself to a coffee, I get as giddy as I am with a bowl of homemade popcorn. It’s a win-win. I drink Tulsi India Breakfast tea now. It has a little caffeine mixed with the calming effects of tulsi (holy basil). It’s really an excellent way to start my mornings. 

28. Connecting with all things yin/feminine softens the hardness that I tend to create when I’m thrown into the “go, go, go” or yang/masculine aspect of our culture. If we are over-consuming our yin (whether due to over-activity, or because it was deficient to begin with), we begin to lose our endurance and reserves. We become over-reactive and hypersensitive. Whatever your gender, it’s essential for all of us to connect with our yin/feminine side. Balance is key and we can only ignore this part of ourselves for so long before symptoms of imbalance start to physically and emotionally manifest.

29. Taking chances, when aligned with that gut instinct and intuition, will always be worth it. I’d rather fail trying than not doing at all.

30. I’m grateful for Mama Nature. She guides me in understanding how the universe works which in turn guides me in understanding how we, as humans, work. 

31. I have a lot to offer! I never thought I’d be teaching yoga classes and workshops, but I am, and I love it. I believe EVERYONE has something to offer, and finding your voice is part of that unnerving yet exciting journey that will lead you to where you belong. I dare you to step outside your comfort zone and try it. 

32. It’s impossible to condense a year’s worth of learning into a list of 32, but to keep it practical and fun, I chose the number 32 since all of this was experienced, manifested, and cultivated while I was 32. Clever, huh? 😉 Here’s to my 33rd year, another revolution around the sun, and hopefully countless more lessons that will continue to expand my horizons and challenge me to do the things my heart is trying to lead me to do. :)

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Happy, little 2-year old me in the Cayman Islands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hello friends,

After a 6 month hiatus, my writer’s cap is back on and I’m excited to start posting here more regularly.

So, why 6 long months without an update, you ask? Well, life has been full of changes, transitions, and new beginnings that have required most of my attention and energy. I’ve relocated to Chapel Hill, NC and have since opened a practice, The Balance Point Acupuncture & Wellness, which has been an incredible experience on so many levels. I feel humbled, honored, excited, and full of so much gratitude to finally be at this point in my career to be able to put the knowledge and skills I’ve acquired to action through treatments, workshops, volunteering, and, once again, writing.

I’ve been building a great community here and keeping really busy embracing the Carolina life. In March, I started a year-long yoga teacher training which has done nothing but reaffirm (over and over again) all of the efforts I’ve put into building this journey for myself. So, overall, with its ups and downs, life has been good.

What to expect from here on out: A little less on the “How-To’s” and a little more vulnerability and depth around the health and wellness issues that are prevalent in our day to day lives. Most of my writing inspiration comes from personal experience, and I feel that’s the best place to stay in order to really connect with all of you.

Thank you for all of your support, from near and far. I am forever grateful to have this space to share the inner workings of my mind.

Always,
Colleen :)

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On Love.

© thislittlelark.org

Unconditional Love
©thislittlelark.org

“Love is a state of being. Your love is not outside: it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it can never leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form. In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.” -Eckhart Tolle-

Our modern-day Valentine’s Day, removed from its religious and pagan past, has evolved into one of the most celebrated holidays on the calendar. However you choose to feel about it– whether you thrive on going all out with romantic gestures or find yourself resisting the industry that is created around these holidays– I’d like to invite you to think of it as an opportune moment to pause, reflect, and honor what is really being celebrated: LOVE. 

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The Illusion of Separateness

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“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh –

As I round the corner to finish my final year in Naturopathic and Chinese Medical School, I’ve been thinking a lot about what natural medicine really is.

What I thought it was, when I started. And what I now know it to be.

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2014: Feel Good, Be Good, and Do Good.

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“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

– Mahatma Gandhi –

The countdown to 2014 has begun! In mere hours, we will be ringing in the new year; spirits hopefully high, and goals set to try to make the upcoming year filled with success, health, love and accomplishments.

We make resolutions because we have a natural tendency towards self-improvement. We want the best for ourselves and the world we live in. However, too often our January 1st enthusiasm quickly falls by the wayside.  Sometimes, as soon as mid-January, our goals are abandoned completely.

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